Soul Kennels

Is your conscience inhibiting a romantic liaison with
that significant extra? Are high moral standards causing
you to spend precious time helping those in need? Is a
sense of honor preventing a lucrative plunge into an
unscrupulous business deal?

Your problem is your soul!
We can help!

At Soul Kennels, we separate your soul from its body,
then incarcerate the immortal residue in a state of the art
ecto-kennel, setting your body free for the life it deserves.

Become more popular with the opposite sex!
Make big money!
Pursue a career in law!

How long do you need? A month? A week?
Twenty-three minutes at a sleazy motel?
We can tailor a payment plan to suit your needs.

Just listen to a few of our satisfied customers:

"Whenever my soul is in its kennel, no man can resist the
sighs of my milk-white breasts."
"Without a soul, my body is 30% more masculine."
"I'm a lawyer!"

Soul Kennels where
"Freedom is yours while your soul is ours."

You can find us by whispering into that dark,
empty room at the end of the hall.

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