Cultural Confessions

You should be ashamed!

I've heard the sentimental songs that move you when
no one is listening. I've seen the melodramas you watch
when no one is watching. I know you keep romance novels
squirreled away in your bedside table. Somewhere inside,
you've convinced yourself that Jell-O is a fruit.

You need absolution.
You need
Cultural Confessions.

You have been anesthetized with forced rhymes,
contrived plots, paper-doll characters, and the culpability
of an uninhibited cultural depravity. Your soul's lack of pain
is your pain, but contentment need not be a life sentence.

Confess to one of our trained professionals today!
Purge your soul!

Our services are completely confidential. You can find our
representatives enjoying Belgian waffles at your local coffee
shop, or tending bar at your favorite watering hole. Keep your
eyes peeled for a quirky looking guy wearing blue jeans.

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